Sense and sensitivity | Tenant finds things out of place in room – Times-Standard
Dear Harriette: I am renting a room to a single mother with two children. I live in a room opposite the house with my own bathroom. Most of the time, I don’t even see the children or their mother because of our schedules. The kids go to school at 7am and I get up for work at 9am. Lately, when I come home from work, I notice that little things in my bedroom and bathroom are out of place. I went so far as to take pictures of what everything looked like before I left, just for comparison. It’s safe to say someone in the house is messing with my stuff, and I’m guessing it’s the kids. How can I handle this without sounding too aggressive? – Do not touch
Dear Don’t Touch: Talk to your landlord. Ask him to lock your doors. Please explain that you have noticed that things are out of place in your private spaces and that you imagine that the children’s curiosity led them to your bedroom and bathroom. Knowing that kids will be kids, you understand their urge to check your space, but you want it off limits. A simple lock on your doors can solve this problem.
Don’t accuse children of doing something wrong. They are probably looking around. If the mom says she’s sure she isn’t, tell her about the pictures you took to prove it to yourself. Show him, if necessary. Anyway, take the locks.
Dear Harriette: During the height of the pandemic, my husband was smoking weed every day, morning til night. It drove me crazy to have this smell wafting through my apartment every day. He passed away a few months ago, but now he’s back. It starts at 6 or 7 in the morning. Before getting out of bed, I smell this pungent smell. I’m no prude. I get that he likes his weed, but I think it’s outrageous that he smokes as soon as he wakes up and then all day when he’s home. How can I get him to quit his habit? — Weeding hours
Dear Weed Hours: Appeal to its community spirit. Remind your husband that his incessant smoking has upset your household during the pandemic. Tell her how bothered you were to wake up regularly to the smell of weed. Tell him how disappointed you were to find that he went back to his old ways. Ask him to reconsider when he smokes. Beg him to keep the morning smoke-free. Explain how upsetting it is for you to wake up to the smell of weed before you even open your eyes. Ask him to treat the grass as if it were a drink. Reserve its use until after hours, after the end of the working day.
Sadly, I doubt he’ll comply, but it’s worth asking.
Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send your questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.